she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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