my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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