In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
