I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
