respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
