Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
