does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
