CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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