Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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