Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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