i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
