Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
