hell yes lets make some ravioli
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
