she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I need moral support for this bender
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
