Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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