i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
