you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
