Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
