I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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