I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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