You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
