Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
