Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
no. you can't hotbox the world.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's never too late to be topless.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
