He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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