i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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