I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
