I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
there is glitter all over my balls
Congratulations! We have a period
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
