He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize