This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
