So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
