We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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