Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
