I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Randomize
