so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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