and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
