$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
