no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
