I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
