NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I am mentally ready for anal.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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