her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
