mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize