Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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