What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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