I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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