she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize