are you so shy because you have an std?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We had sex on a dog bed..
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
