Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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