I looked at my own cervix.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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