His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
