then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
