I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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