Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
