no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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