If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
