woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
