i just google imaged poop.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
