Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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